Life is tough ..

I've had such a long and rough week. Right now all I want is to sleep. Sleep this entire winter away. No, sleep the next 3 years away.
I've changed class, which has been pretty hard on me .. I miss my old class, and these new subjects are so tough. I don't know how I'm going to it. And then there's my job, which is every single day. I get underpaid, I work more than I should, I do work that I'm not entitled to do. I found the previous guys file today, and found out that the secretaries had lied to me. They told me they had fired him for not showing up enough. I found his email where he quit the job himself. He felt he didn't have enough time, and didn't get paid enough for such hard work. And he goes in NINTH grade. He should have a hell of a lot more time than me. I miss coming home and relaxing. And I miss eating. I don't really get to do that a lot these days. I've lost weight, I look like a zombie .. And I feel like one too. And don't even get me started on my hair .. Omg .. Who allows dumbasses to work in salons? To cut off as little as possible doesn't mean 10 cm. Anyway, my hair is way too short for my liking now, so mostly I just wear it in a ponytail so it's not noticeable. But I was so pissed off when I got home and realised just how much she had cut off. My pretty long princess hair is gone .. Now it's just boring.

Goood .. Why me? I'm just sooo .. I don't know. First I was angry, then sad and now I've just reached this "I don't really care anymore" state. I'm just too tired. I've tried going early to bed. But school just sucks the energy right out of me. All I can do is take one day at a time, and hope that I don't stress myself too much. It just frustrates me, cause I don't feel that I can do both. When I get home from a long day at school, followed by work, I'm too tired to do homework. And if I don't do homework I'll lose my way completely at school.
I'll stop complaining now .. After all, as my parents said, I should be "happy" that I've got a job.

What's the point?

Yesterday in social studies, we were watching this short movie about the repression of muslim women. A turkish woman, who was born and raised in Denmark, was telling a group of policemen, specializing in that area, her story. A few from my class felt that it was very insulting, and the questions and suggestions the policemen stated were unacceptable. To a point I suppose they were. But the woman really annoyed me in some way, because she was blabbering about how she felt 100% danish, and couldn't understand why people still thought she was different. The problem is that she was so patriotic, that it seemed like she was against all danes. She was bitching about that the policemen were generalizing, when basically that was exactly what she was doing. She was saying how all 'the danes' were bad at integrating foreigners, and all these other stupid things .. Who said we are all like that? It's like when we say 'all muslims' are terrorists, or all muslims are violent and cause trouble. Many get angry when we generalize in that way, but what they don't realize is that they are doing the exact same thing.
It's like when being accused of being a racist. There is such a fine line between stating your opinion and being a racist these days. All you pretty much have to do is stare at a foreigner, and you are a racist. But when some immigrants come into our country, they think they can do whatever they want. And when I say that some of those immigrants are to blame for a hell of a lot of the violence these days, it's no lie. As mentioned, I've starting working at a law firm, where I am allowed to look through all files and cases. One thing I've noticed is that probably 90% of the crime cases are by immigrants .. And that's just in Sønderborg, where we hardly have any violence or stabbings like in Copenhagen and Århus. And I'm not saying anything about that danes don't do those things too, cause of course they do. I'm not saying that all immigrants are criminals either, not at all. But when you lay these facts out, many start to feel like we are insulting them, because they too are immigrants. And then you are suddenly a racist in many peoples eyes.
I also think that many fugitives, for example, take it for granted that they have been integrated into our society. Instead of appreciating that they have been given help, they find something about it to bitch about. If we are being racist for stating our opinions, then why is it such a taboo to say that they are being racist when some of them generalize just as much as those "racist" danes?

I don't even bother debating this with people anymore, together with of bunch of other things. I just don't see the point in it. It brings you absolutely nowhere these days. It really annoys me that when you try to explain this, and state your opinion, you don't get far before what you're saying is 'totally unacceptable' for some reason. It's a free world, and we have the right to freedom of speech, so why should we just sit and smile? Call me whatever you want, but I'm gonna speak what's on my mind..

Bored .. and kind of sick ..

I got up at 9:00, and went to school only to be there for 40 minutes, because my teacher decided that was enough. So now I'm at home, totally bored. I have another lesson at 12:00, but since I'm really not feeling well, I'm just going to stay home and sleep. Unluckily I have to go to work later ..
Cause yes, I've got a job now. I'm working at a law firm, where I do all kinds of things for them, like archiving, tidy up, go to the bank/postoffice, put contracts and cases into files etc. I still haven't decided if thats a good thing or a bad thing. I'm going to earn money, that's a good thing .. But I'm being paid minimum wage, and have to work every single day for 2 hours. 2 hours isn't a lot, but doing it every day is. It's also quite tricky, cause I have to do so many different things .. And they are laying pretty much responsibility on me. If I'm putting their cases away, and I do something wrong .. Well, then it's not too good. Then the case will pretty much be lost.

I so badly need a holiday right now. I'm soooo tired of the weather .. It's just too cold. I don't even get how I can get up in the morning, when I know that I have to go outside. I'm finally beginning to understand what a 'winter depression' is. When I was younger I didn't understand why anybody would hate this time of the year .. I mean .. Snow, christmas, short schooldays. It was one big party I guess. But that has certainly changed. Now it's just freezing stupid weather, work, school, homework, long days.
I wish I could go for a loooooooong holiday to Hawaii or Thailand .. Somewhere like that.

For ?some? reason my blog only contains posts about the weather, school and stuff like that. Well, I guess that's what happens when you live in Denmark. Nothing exciting ever happens.
Give me summer, money, fame, a big city to live in - and THEN I'll have something to write about.

Happy New Year ..

I must admit, 2008 was a pretty good year. A lot of great things happened - I started in gymnasium, I got a new boyfriend, and I met a bunch of new people and made new friends. I even turned sixteen - sweet sixteen. It's also been a pretty easy-going year. I haven't been to many parties, and I've been tired A LOT of the time. I found out one of the reasons to that the other week. Turns out I needed iron in my blood. So I am/was anemic. But now I'm taking some ekstra iron-stuff, so that should be taken care of.
I'm looking forward to this new year, and I have high expectations. I think it's gonna be even better than last year. And I'm going to be much more socially active as well. I guess that's kind of my New Years resolution. Even though I don't really believe in that kind of thing. I think it's a load of bulls**t. You anyway rarely "complete" those things you promised yourself. But I'm going to see my friends more, and party more .. I'm determined to do that. I just haven't felt up to it these past few months.

Now since this is my blog, I'm going to allow myself to bitch a little bit, since I deserve it. I had planned a fun New Years Eve .. But it turns out my parents managed to order planetickets for us three to Mallorca before I even had say in it. So here I am now, feeling completely and utterly left out from all the fun. When I was writing with people on MSN earlier, they all kind of wrote "Sorry, have to go to a party now .. Byyye" .. And I'm like .. Okay, I guess I'll just stay here and feel sorry for myself then.
I had actually planned to fall asleep a long time ago, so I was blissfully unaware that it was New Year, and not think about how everybody else was at parties and what not. But I decided that I had to show a little interest for my parents sake. They meant well when they brought me here. I think they even feel a little sorry for me. So I stood out on the balcony for 15-20 minutes and watched the pretty fireworks beyond the bay. Now I just feel like watching the Sex And The City movie, so I'm going to do that. And no, I'm not pathetic. I'm just a bit upset that I missed out. It's only New Years once a year, after all. I guess I'll just have to wait till next year now.

Happy New Year!!