Vienna waits for you ..

.. Is something a lot of people don't understand. But it is from Billy Joel's song Vienna. My absolute favorite song. At one point he sings - "Why don't you realise - Vienna waits for you". It's basically about someone trying to grow up too fast, hence "Where's the fire, what's the hurry about". "Vienna waits for you", means that the rest of you life will wait. Vienna symbolises the rest of your life. I don't know why I love it so much. It just makes me stress down a little, I think. That all the pressure, all the obstacles don't matter. I think it makes me think of myself many years ago. I've ALWAYS tried to grow up faster, because I've never really been happy with where I am "right now". There's always been something better ahead. Even now. And it kinda makes me realise that no matter what I do, I'm always going to be growing up at the same rate, so I might as well make the most of it. And I need to slow down a little. Everything will fall into place. I also absolutely love "Slow down, you crazy child, take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile. It's all right, you can afford to lose a day or two". Cause that is exactly what I need sometimes. Sometimes when I'm listening to this song, I actually imagine how I would LOVE to go to Vienna - or Paris for that matter - and just .. chill out. No phone, no internet. No pressure and no stress. Sometimes you just let everything get to you, you know? And that is what creates this stupid circle that makes you burn yourself out. Still though, I can't wait for the future. Most importantly, to get my student hat in just 8 months! I just picked mine out today. Victory will soon be mine. In one of the hats, it is actually possible to have an inscription written in the shade. I was thinking "Vienna waits for you" would be a nice touch. But it doesn't really matter. I've anyway got it all up here (points to head).

God, I love this song. It can make EVERYTHING that worries me go away in an instant, and it just makes me so .. relieved. Vienna waits for me, remember?

The best things are far away from where your heart needs them

It's late. I can't stop thinking. Sometimes I feel like I am in the wrong place. My head and my heart are somewhere completely different .. far away.

Hi, it's me again

So yes, this is the place I write when I have something on my mind. And I've had a kinda bad day. I nearly haven't slept, and I've just felt weird all day. It really sucks.
I just don't really know what's bugging me. It's a mixture of a lot of things. You know the feeling of being taken for granted? Well that's what I'm feeling now, big time. And that sucks too. And I've tried everything. So I'm gonna give up now, and just see what happens.

it's a choice to stay
it's a dream and I wanna wake

you have blood on your hands
and I'm feeling faint
and honey, you can't decide

I'm a drug you don't wanna give up
smoke your cigarettes, make your love

you poured blood in my heart
and I can't get enough
I'm drowning, drowning
and you can't decide

it's not about geography or happenstance
you need to fly and take a chance
you don't need to soar to emptiness
or float on high and forever dance alone
you're scared, scared, scared
cause I feel like home

hear your voice, knew right away
if you were here your eyes would say
there is blood on my feet
as I'm walking away
rivers are red, it's starting to rain

I'm not gonna live for you or die for you
won't do anything anymore for you
cause you leave me here on the other side
you leave me here on the other side
don't you leave me here on the other side
don't you leave me here on the other side

not gonna shed one more tear for you
shed one more tear for you
I'm not gonna shed one more tear for you
at least not til sunday afternoon
sunday afternoon

leave or stay
leave or stay

In this world of overrated pleasures and underrated treasures, i'm glad there is you.

Music

I can understand all that you are, I can even take all that you're not
I can sympathize with all you want to be, but don't fuck me in front of me

I can even scores with the best of them, I can leave my innocence at bay
You can turn your back on my sincerity, but don't fuck me in front of me

Good days, dirty waves, I saw the look you gave her
Breathing in, begin again, may God the world do say you hurt

I could say I blame you for everything, instead I think I'll recognize my part
Needing doesn't hide who I want to be, but don't fuck me in front of me

Twenties girl

"It's not enough to believe! Don't you see that, you stupid girl? You could spend your whole life hoping and believing! If a love affair is one-sided, then it's only ever a question, never an answer. You can't live your life waiting for an answer."